What About Angels?

QUESTION: Do you have any practical suggestions for couples who are serious about making the effort to live on one income? How can they avoid bankruptcy?

DR. DOBSON: There may be a way to get it done. Donna Partow, author of “Homemade Business,” has offered specific advice about starting your own business, which could involve desktop publishing, pet grooming, sewing, consulting, transcribing legal documents or even getting into mail-order sales. Choosing the right business is the first of three preparatory steps.

Consider taking a personal-skills-and-interest inventory to identify your abilities and to discover what you might enjoy doing. The second step is to do your homework. Begin by using the Internet to help you research your chosen field. Look up books, magazines, and newspaper articles. Talk to other people who have done what you are considering.

Join an industry organization and a network. Subscribe to industry publications. According to Mrs. Partow, the third step is to garner as much support as you can. Get your children, your spouse and your friends on your side. Then marshal your resources and go for it.

Before telling me why this alternative is impossible in light of your circumstances, let me tell you about the Van Wingerden family in Colorado Springs. They have 22 children, 12 of them adopted and 10 born to Lynn, the mother. They own a strawberry farm and all the children old enough to work are involved in it. Believe it or not, Mrs. Van Wingerden homeschools all the kids personally. The family is highly organized and structured, with the teenagers having specific and rotating responsibilities for routine tasks and for the care of the youngsters. Visiting their home is a delight. The Van Wingerdens prove that many things are possible for those who set their minds to it.

QUESTION: Just how much opportunity do parents have to remake the personalities of their children? Can they change characteristics that they dislike? My son is painfully shy and I’d like him to be strong and assertive. Can we redesign him?

DR. DOBSON: You can teach new attitudes and modify some behavioral patterns, but you will not be able to redesign the basic personality with which your child was born. Some characteristics are genetically programmed, and they will always be there. For example, some kids appear to be born to lead, and others seem to be made to follow. And that fact can be a cause of concern for parents at times.

One mother told me that her compliant, easygoing child was being picked on and beaten up every day in nursery school. She urged him to defend himself, but it contradicted his very nature to even think about standing up to the bullies. Finally, his frustration became so great that he decided to heed his mother’s advice. As they drove to school one day he said, “Mom, if those kids pick on me again today … I’m … I’m … I’m going to beat them up – slightly!”

How does a kid beat up someone slightly? I don’t know, but it made perfect sense to this compliant lad.

Like you, some parents worry about an easygoing, passive child – especially if he’s a boy. Followers in this society are sometimes less respected than aggressive leaders and may be seen as wimpy or spineless. And yet, the beauty of the human personality is seen in its marvelous uniqueness and complexity. There is a place for the wonderful variety of temperaments that find expression in children. After all, if two people are identical in every regard, it’s obvious that one of them is unnecessary.

My advice to you is to accept, appreciate and cultivate the personality with which your little child is born. He does not need fit a preconceived mold. That youngster is, thankfully, one of a kind.

· · ·

Dr. James Dobson is founder and Chairman Emeritus of the nonprofit organization Focus on the Family, Colorado Springs, Colo. 80995 (www. focusonthefamily.org). Questions and answers are excerpted from “Complete Marriage and Family Home Reference Guide” and “Bringing Up Boys,” both published by Tyndale House.

From my friend to my friends.

Just as we come to the day we celebrate Christmas, I and my family want to wish for you the greatest new gift that anyone could receive.

Stop for a moment and look back on where you’ve been.

Is that the way you wanted to go?

It just takes a decision to change your path.

God’s Gift to Us (Part 1)
For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.
— John 3:17

When you’re a child, Christmas is all about receiving gifts. In December, your head is swimming with nothing but images of your favorite toys.

But the true message of Christmas is not the presents we give to one another. The true meaning is the gift that God gave to us, His Son Jesus Christ.

During the next two days, I want to point out to you three things about the gift God gave to us in that tiny manger in Bethlehem.

The first thing we want to realize about God’s gift to us is that it came in simple wrapping. Some people will go to great lengths to wrap presents beautifully. But God’s gift came to us not in beautiful, ornate wrapping, but in a dirty manger found in a cold cave in a little-known town called Bethlehem.

That’s the beauty of the Christmas event. Jesus took His place in a manger so that we might have a home in heaven. The Savior was not wrapped in satin sheets, but in common rags. There in a manger rested the greatest gift in the plainest of wrapping.

The second thing I want to point out about God’s gift to us is that we don’t deserve it. Consider this: God gave us the ultimate gift of His Son Jesus Christ while we were still sinning against Him (see Romans 5:8).

We did nothing whatsoever to merit or deserve His gift. That is the amazing truth of Christmas. Despite who we are, God sent His Son so “that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life” (John 3:16).

With Christmas just days away, begin to prepare your heart for the celebration of the birth of our Savior. Meditate on the fact that Jesus was born to die so that we might live.

Have Pastor Greg’s devotions blessed you? Write and tell him!
Greg@harvest.org

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